Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 August 11
Wow. What a great vacation. Sorry I haven't been able to write in you, diary, but I spent the week on the island. I decided to stay in the little beach house. It was so BORING!!! There is nothing to do there. I should have left, but then I would have broken my promise to myself to stay there for a week. From now on, I'm never keeping any more promises. August 14
It rained a lot today. Admiral and I thought it would never end. I'm just afraid all the huge holes I dug up are going to fill with water... August 18
 Sven pushed me today. He doesn't take criticism very well. August 21
Today was Founder's Day. Tortimer kept running around saying that he was the founder, but I know for sure that a founder is a type of fish. Some people tell the worst lies... August 29
I went to Teddy's house, and he asked me to get his glasses case from Blaire. I ran over to Blaire's house, but she told me that Peaches had it. I ran to Peaches' house, but she told me to get it from Admiral. Admiral said to get it from Cheri. Cheri said she gave it to Bob, and when I asked Bob if he had it, he told me that he had already given it to me. Then I remembered! I was using Teddy's glasses case to keep a chair in my house from wobbling! I took it out from under my chair and returned it to Teddy. I was upset when all he gave me in return was four pages of stationery. September 4
Admiral invited me into his house to play checkers with him today. I didn't tell him this, but I love to cheat at checkers. This is my strategy: Get Bob or Woolio to wait outside and knock on the door every minute or so. When Admiral goes to answer the door, king all of your pieces, and remove some of Admiral's pieces off the board. He'll realize what you've done, but he'll pretend not to notice. He still wins anyway, though. September 7
I got a new CD Player today. I played it so loud that it rattled my brain. September 12
I was walking around town and I tripped over a tree stump. When I tried to get up, my back went out. I rolled over onto my back and tried to get up by sitting up, but I ended up bumping my head on the tree stump. I hurt myself seventeen times before I actually got up. September 15
I'm so upset! All of the trees I planted died! I don't know why. Oh wait, I didn't plant trees...I planted "please"... September 20
I bought a new computer today from Nook. I'm upset because I forgot to buy a mouse pad. September 21
I returned to Nook's store to buy a mouse pad. He laughed at me when I asked him if the mouse pad was compatible with my computer. September 26
I got tired of walking around the town, so I decided to make my own car. I took my bed and put four manhole covers on the sides. It doesn't work very well, but it's still a car I think. September 30
I entered Nook's drawing today. And I lost. Nook began to apologize to me, but I grabbed him by the collar and shook him around, spitting in his big furry face. He ran over and told Copper, but I hid behind a tree. October 2
I'm so sad. Nook was supposed to be selling candy, but he wasn't. And I'm fine with that because he wouldn't let me go in his store anyway because I strangled him. October 7
A cat named Katrina came to my town today. She told me to "beware the ides of March" but I didn't get it. She sighed, drew another card from her mystical card pile, and told me that I would be unlucky over the next week, but I didn't believe her. I called her a big liar as I tripped my way out of her tent. October 13
I ran over to the lost and found because I found a toothpick and I wanted to turn it in, but Booker laughed at me. It wasn't a toothpick. It was a bendy straw. October 16
Woolio said it would be funny if I wrote a naughty word on the notice board. So I did. It says, "a naughty word". Jane couldn't stop laughing, so I kicked her. Hard. October 19
I had out my shovel, and I saw a weird mark on the ground, so I dug a hole where the mark was. Guess what was inside. Fossils. Dinosaur fossils! What am I supposed to do with dinosaur fossils?! I threw them in the dump. October 20
So, let's see... I've been here for a year now. To celebrate, I said, "Hooray!" All the party guests were annoyed that I didn't have a better party planned. October 22
I was outside tonight and noticed something different about the air. It was wet—much more wet than usual. It was hard to breathe in, and instead of clouds, there were lily pads above me. Then I realized that I was standing at the bottom of the lake. October 25
I met K.K. Slider at the train station today. He sang me a song. I loved it. I asked him to sing it again. And again. He sang the song for five hours straight. When he asked me to pay him, I said, "No, I won't be doing that tonight." October 31
Today was scary. It was Halloween, so I went over to Admiral to trick-or-treat for some candy. I was dressed up as a spiral notebook. Admiral was dressed up as Jack, the self-proclaimed king of Halloween. Everyone was. Admiral wanted candy from me, but I didn't have any. After all, I was running over to his house to get candy from him. So, since I couldn't give him candy, he tore up my costume. How mean. I didn't tear up his costume. I cried for hours. November 2
I woke up with a strong headache today, so I decided to stay in bed instead of running in circles around Cheri's house like I originally planned to do. I took so many aspirins that they don't seem to help me anymore. November 5
I saw a present floating around town today from a balloon. I didn't have a gun to shoot the balloon down, so I had to take Officer Copper's. We had a long talk after that, about law. I tried not to pay attention to him, but he was yelling. November 11
Today was Officer's Day, and of course, Officer Copper blabbed on and on during his speech. He wouldn't shut up! So I ran up to the podium, grabbed the microphone, and started singing the Macarena. Admiral told me afterwards that my singing sounded bad and made him sad. November 12
My pet frog got away today. I couldn't catch him. He continued to hop away. Then he hopped on top of Nookington's. I went up there, but I messed up when I was trying to get down and I fell on my head and the horns made it hurt more. November 15
I went down to the ocean today with Jane to skip stones. I beat her so good. She said I was a poor winner, but I wasn't listening. I just kept pushing her loser butt. November 25
It's too bad that we don't have a McDonald's, because I really like their Happy Meal toys. November 28
Today was the Harvest Festival, and I burned the turkey. When Admiral, Bob, Teddy, Peaches, Jane, Woolio, Cheri, and Blaire came over (I didn't invite Sven, of course), they were upset that I force-fed them burnt turkey blobs. December 2
I'm so furious! I slept through Snow Day again! Eating all that turkey made me so sleepy, and as a result, I slept through Snow Day for the second year in a row! December 6
K.K. Slider was at the train station tonight. I asked him if I could play his guitar, but he said no. So I slapped him. He died. I got ten years in prison. I'm kidding. He said yes, I still slapped him, he did not die, and I did not go to prison. December 14
I wish Garthton had a school so I could goof off and not pay attention, because I'm good at doing that. Oh, and giving apples to teachers. (The funny part is that inside of the apple, I would slip in a long, slimy, venomous snake! And I would be sure to slip some antivenin in her coffee so she doesn't die. I don't want to kill her.) December 19
There was a big igloo not far from my house today. I crawled inside it to learn that Bob found the igloo and claimed it as his. I asked if I could play igloo with him, and he said no! So I ran outside of the igloo, and kicked it so hard that it exploded. Big explosion! Bob flew into the air. He should land some time tomorrow. December 24
Jingle will be here soon to give me presents. But I know I won't be satisfied with only a few presents, so I have set up an elaborate trap to get Jingle. Here's my diagram of the trap:
It's needlessly complicated, but I'm hoping it'll work. December 25
The bowling ball missed its target, and hit my refrigerator instead. Now my refrigerator is broken, and I didn't catch Jingle. I hope Jingle gives me a refrigerator! December 28
I forgot to open my presents on the 25th, so I opened them a few minutes ago. Jingle didn't get me a refrigerator. Oh, my meat's spoiling! I need a new refrigerator! December 31
I went to Nook's store today to see if he had any refrigerators, but he said he wasn't selling anything because it was a raffle day. I was upset, so I hit him. You think I would have learned by now that it's not okay to hit people. January 1
Well, I guess my wish came true. My wish was, "I wish that I possess the ability to wish for things," and it happened! January 7
Admiral and I decided to throw snowballs at Woolio's house this morning to wake him, but we broke his window with the snowballs. He was very angry, so I promised I would buy him a nice window to replace the one I broke. January 13
Woolio came over today to ask what was taking so long. His house was freezing without the window. I apologized to him, and promised to get the glass to him tomorrow. January 14
Aww, crap. I forgot about the glass. I panicked, and Woolio got angry at me for breaking my promise. When he started yelling, I hit him with my net to get him to be quiet. January 18
I realized that I would never find glass for Woolio, so I thought of the next best thing. I ran down to the frozen lake with my ax, and cut a big circle out of the ice at the surface of the lake. I then took it over to Woolio's house and installed it for him. January 21
Woolio's really upset at me. He thinks I'm really stupid now. The ice melted and water got all over his priceless Pokémon card collection. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay him, so I won't. January 25
My birthday's tomorrow. I'm going to throw a huge party. It'll be the best ever. I'll invite all my friends in Garthton. January 26
Happy birthday to me! My party rocked! It rocked so loud that Officer Copper had to come and say, "Turn it down." But I'm not listening to you, police! February 2
Today was Groundhog's Day, and Mr. Resetti came to see whether he could see his shadow or not, but dangit, the sun wasn't out, and he had no shadow! Now we'll never know the end of winter. February 5
Today, Tortimer announced that there's going to be a Valentine's Day Dance. I wonder whom I should invite. There was no dance last year because I kept saying I was going to sabotage it, so they didn't have it. February 7
I went over to Admiral's house, and asked him if I should take Blaire, Cheri, or Peaches. He asked me why the heck I would want to ask Peaches. Then he said she was crazy. I got so mad at him for calling her crazy that I spit in his feathers. He got upset, and beakpecked me in the eye. February 8
I asked all the girls in town to the dance, and they all said "no", except for Cheri, who said "never!" February 10
The stupid girls won't go with me to the dance, so I'm going to have to sabotage the dance like I almost did last year. I asked Teddy if he'd help me, but he said that wasn't cool, dude, but Woolio said it would be great and said that he had many plans up his sleeves! February 13
The stupid dance is tomorrow, so Woolio and I struck today. We went to the pond, where the dance is going to be, and started messing everything up by TP'ing (throwing toilet paper over) the trees, spitting in the grass, splashing in the lake, and digging pitfalls in the grass. Ha ha ha, have fun at the dance, girls (and guys who stole my dates). February 14
Blaire asked me at the last minute to go to the dance with her (her date Sven dumped her) and so we went but I forgot about the pitfalls and we fell down the pitfall and can't get out. I'm in the pit with my diary right now writing this. Blaire's telling me to stop writing and to help her up and grab the rope everyone's hanging down here right now, and it's really getting on my nerves. Blaire's always telling me what's good for me. February 16
Everyone's been writing on the message board recently about how stupid and jerky I am about digging holes before the party. How did they know it was me? Because Woolio confessed and apologized yesterday and the stupid jerk said it was all my idea. I hate Woolio, he got everyone mad at me. February 17
I went over to Admiral's house today and he was upset at me for digging holes. I said it wasn't the first time I had dug holes, but he still said it was a bad, stupid idea. February 20
I went to Blaire's house today to apologize for breaking her leg (oh, did I tell you she broke her leg when she fell? Skunks's legs break easily). I have to push her everywhere in a wheelchair now. I hope she'll give me a turn in it! February 25
I brought Blaire some hot soup today. She said it was too hot, and I said nonsense and ate it and burnt my tongue. So now we're equal (her leg's broke and my tongue hurts). February 27
Blaire isn't very nice when both of her legs are broken and I push her wheelchair into a pitfall that I didn't fill up and she falls headfirst into the hole. February 28
Blaire is pretty upset at me—she's trying to rally the whole town against me. Only Admiral seems apprehensive about turning against me, good ol' buddy Admiral! To show him how appreciative I was, I gave him my collection of candy. March 2
All of the villagers are going around town, picketing sign boards made by Blaire that say things like "Get him outta town!" and I know they're talking about me, and this makes me VERY ANGRY. March 5
Today, Admiral told me that even though what I did was absolutely a horrible thing, he thinks that Blaire is being unreasonably cruel to me. Regardless, he refused to help me make special signs that say things like "Blaire Stinks" and "Stupid Skunky Blaire Has Cooties". March 7
I made signs and picketed them around town, but they got ruined because the rain was too strong and made the marker ink run. My signs are ruined, like my chances of making up with the villagers. March 8
I went to Tom Nook's store to buy some more sign boards, but he absolutely refused service to me. I was surprised when I heard a Conscience tell me not to hurt him, and it almost worked, but I hit the poor fella. Fortunately, Officer Copper has given up on teaching me about laws and stuff and didn't bother me. March 10
Today, I bumped into Blaire and she huffed and puffed at me like usual. I got scared and hit her until Admiral stopped me and reminded me how civilized I was. March 11
Everyone but Admiral mobbed up and started chanting against me today. How scary! Nobody likes my anymore. Admiral suggested that I move far far away before they start killing me. March 13
It's a conspiracy, I tell you! Everyone's against me! Blaire stood on a box today and addressed everyone. "Get him out of town!" she said, pointing at me. Everyone but Admiral cheered, waving their sign boards in the air. Then I pushed her off of the box and offered everyone candy, but they didn't want anyone so then I sang a song but everyone left during my song. It was a song that I called Skunky Blaire. March 14
Oh boy, I got Blaire super angry today. She'll never forgive me for this. I would call it an "accident," but Copper said that it's "arson." Meh, I hate that police jargon. March 15
Today, everyone was chasing me through town with the sticks from their sign boards because of what I did yesterday afternoon to Blaire's house. Admiral tried to stop them, reminding them that I'm a "stupid little kid" (his words, not mine) but then they got mad at him. They called him a traitor and started chasing him too. We ran north through town to the train station and jumped into a train car as the train was pulling out of Garthton Station. Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
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