For those of you who don't know what Scorched Earth is, it's the best tank simulator game where everyone shoots different kinds of missiles or nukes or dirt clods at each other until one person still stands.  I have the game set up so that each tank says something funny before it dies.  I have compiled a list of the sayings the tanks can say.  The original ones are on top, followed by the ones my cousins and I made up.  A free download of the game is available at http://www.classicgaming.com/scorch.

    Here are the originals:

Ugh!
Aargh!
Aaagghhh!
I'm melting!
Oof..
Oh!
Eeek!
Aacch!
I hate it when that happens.
One direct hit can ruin your whole day.
Oh no!
Not me!
Ouch.
Oh no, not again.
Another one bites the dust.
Goodbye.
Help me!
Farewell, cruel world.
Remember the Alamo!
Oh man!
D'oh!
Another day, another bomb.
It's all over.
The fat lady sang.
Why does everything happen to me?
I'm going down.
I've got a bad feeling about this.
Crapola.
Pow!
Bif!
Bam!
Zonk!
I should've listened to my mother...
What was that noise?
Mama said there'd be days like this.
It's just one of those days...
I see a bright light...
Mommy? Is that you?
I let you hit me!
Sucker shot!
I didn't want to live anyway.
Was that as close as I think it was?
Join the army, see the world they said.
It wasn't just a job it was an adventure!
I didn't like violence anyway!
I thought you liked me!
Such senseless violence! I don't understand it.
I think this guy's a little crazy.
Somehow I don't feel like killing anymore.
Hey! Killin' ain't cool.
Gee... thanks.
I've fallen and I can't get up!
911?
Oh no! Here I blow again!
I'll be back...
Hey - I've got lawyers.
Time to call 1-900-SUE-TANK.

    Here are our custom ones:

...sigh...
Medic!
Aww, man.
Why do you have to pick on me?
Sure, always pick on the new guy.
Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh!
Pick on someone your own size.
Away to the hospital I go!
Waaaaa!
Mom always said I would die like this.
Whoops...
Whee!
...
................
Dying is for squares, man!
Give peace a chance!
Mamma-mia!
Why me?
Aww, c'mon!
I'm toast.
THAT made my day.
You have poor manners.
Just give me some drugs and surgery.
Now you see me, now you don't!
I hate you!
Bite me!
Well, at least now I'll get some rest.
I'll get you eventually!
I know where you live.
Leave me alone.
Quit pickin' on me!
I'm just a little dead.
I'm not sure I like you anymore.
I think we should just be friends.
Things aren't working out between us.
Ka-boom!
Ka-blooey!
Ka-pow!
I'm not inviting you to my birthday party.
Finally!
Took you long enough!
Ay carumba!
You crumb-bum!
You haven't seen the last of me!
Pull the pin and count to what?
Look, ma! No hands!
This doesn't feel right...
Oh, I feel queasy.
Watch this!
Revenge!
No, this cannot be, I am invincible!
At least this can't get any worse.
Blast off!
I'd rather be fishing.
I'd rather be bowling.
I thought I was on your side!
That's odd...
Watch where you point that thing!
Aw, fudge!
Killing is such a turnoff.
I hope I go to heaven.
I wasn't paying attention.
Wait, I wasn't ready!
It doesn't count because I didn't feel it.
I said time out!
I knew this would happen.
I was expecting this.
:-(
Oy.
I'll return the favor later.
This is getting old.
I'm getting tired of this.
Do-overs!
Yeah, but you had a nice, clear shot!
I could kill you too, if I tried.
I have fury!
How could you?
I can't believe you!
Meow.
Oh, I chose a bad time to fall asleep.
This wasn't in my horoscope!
This makes me very sad.
I'm psychic. I saw this coming.
Everything around me is spinning...
I was afraid of this.
Nice shot!
Be careful with those things!
Well, the pigs flew.
...and I'm not even drunk yet!
Thanks a lot.
I hate this game.
I don't wanna play anymore.
My life, she flashes before my eyes!
At least my car isn't blowing up.
Oh, yes! Insurance money, come to poppa!
Aww, I haven't finished paying it off!
One more turn, and I would've killed you!
Tell my spouse I'll miss the kids.
Well, isn't this a downer?
Your perfect aim isn't impressive.
HA! The joke's on you! I'm suicidal!
HA! Nice try!
NO! I have a wife and three beers at home!
Won't someone think of the children?!
I deserve this.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Here goes nothing...
I have heartburn.
I let my guard down at the wrong time...
This is what I get for not buying shields.
Next time, I'd better use shields.
Whoa.
I feel all woozy in my tum-tum.
Oh, I feel barfy.
I am SO nervous right now.
I hope my explosion kills you all!
Feel guilty!
What the...
What the heck!
Why did all the lights go out in here?
Not again!
This tank was one day away from retirement.
I shouldn't have put you in my will.
Help me, mommy!
I've fallen, and I can't get up!
You're a stupidhead who's stupid.
I think you meant to hit that other guy.
The funny thing is that I want YOU to die.
Ironic, isn't it?
My favorite weapon is the Death's Head!
Aww, jeez!
Couldn't we settle our argument with words?
Sticks and stones may break my bones...
We all fall down!
Hit me baby one more time!
Blast you all!
I'm not dying, just going to the hospital.
You might notice that I'll explode in a moment.
Observe my hilarious attempt at dying.
Dang it, now I'm gonna miss The Simpsons!
My tank was just one month from being paid off!
Hmmm... Isn't that interesting?
You win again, gravity!
Stop exploding, you cowards!
Stop attacking, you cowards!
Your new nickname is "meanie-head."
It's like dieting without the T.
I learned something: WAR = MY DEATH
I hope you're not expecting applause.
For some reason, I can't stop laughing.
Huh?
Ha! Missed me! What?! You didn't miss? WHAT?!
Quit laughing at me!
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
It's okay! I have Allstate!
This wasn't in the job description...
War sucks.
I chose a bad day to volunteer to battle.
Hmmm...I like it better this way.
No, no. I liked it better the other way.
I liked it better when we were friends.
What you just did is illegal!
Ha ha! You're going to jail!
I want a casket filled with candy.
Bury me at Makeout Point.
I always pictured my death at a zoo...
I don't think I have enough band-aids for this...
Use your words.
From now on, no more fatty foods!
You can kill me, but two more will take my place!
Mommy! I have a boo-boo!
Owwie!
Hey, that hurts.
Yikes!
Oh, crikey!
Tanks for the memories.
Oh, tanks a lot!
Oh, you hit my weak spot!
You sunk my battleship!
No, YOU die!
Yaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Yaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!
Best two out of three?
Don't touch that dial, I'll be right back!
That's not cool, dude.
Life isn't as exciting when you're dead.
I now realize why people complain about war.
Let me guess...I lose.
Aw, shucks.
[DEATH MESSAGE 47 MISSING]
Well, so much for happiness...
Oh no no no, this is ALL WRONG.
I give up.
I just can't win.
So this means I lose?
Did I win?
I want my casket made of gold.
Five seconds ago, I was smiling brightly.
Look at me, reduced to this.
Oh, I'm gonna die in my jammies.
Well dying isn't THAT bad...
Here we go again...
Oh boy, I sure could go for a beer right now.
Never drive a tank while drunk.
This I do not appreciate at all...
Sure, pick on the little guy.
Sure, pick on the underdog.
That's it, I'm outta here.
Now I can't accomplish my goal of being immortal.
No, it's okay. I'm all right.
Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
I see... a giant sandwich.
My life flashes before my eyes; it's boring to watch.
Why this fuss about death?
The joke's on you. I WANT to die.
Tag, I'm it...
Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes.
Oh no, I left the oven on!
Traitor!