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Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Susie.  She was a pretty little girl with curly blond locks and she loved to wear pink.  She would wear the pink poodle skirt today.  Nifty-fifties days are so much fun!  The white t-shirts, tight jeans and black leather jackets on the men are so fake and everyone knows that toupees are totally fake; they're not fooling anyone.  One man decided to be funny and used a shag rug as a toupee, but all the other governors saw how silly boys were and forbade the girls from talking to them, for their manners were awful.  "Didn't your mother teach you not to point at strangers and other rude things?" the grandma gasped, slapping the boy's hand.  "I'll teach you a lesson," she said.  And the teaching lesson began.  First use cooked chicken, thinly sliced celery, mayo (fat free) and cashews.  The cashews are nice and filling, but they don't go very well with Easy Cheese.  One of the problems with Easy Cheese is that it's way too cheesy and sprays all over the cornflakes.  The pressure of the Cheez Whiz cans had been produced way too high and many people died when squirting it directly into their mouths.  "Mmm!  It tasted like Cool Whip!" the little girl shrieked with delight, "More!  More!"  Her mom said, "No more, you'll spoil your dinner," and took away her tasty confection.  But it was all for the little girl's best.