"Flowers, flowers, everywhere!" sang Luigi.  He danced around his garden, sprinkling water onto the many flowers.

"Gardens are stupid," said Mario.  His garden hadn’t produced a single sprout.  "I quit," he said, taking off his dirty gardening gloves, revealing his ordinary gloves beneath.

"Oh, come on, Mario," said Luigi.  "I thought you said you were gonna make a garden like mine."

"I hate gardening.  This is stupid."

"Come on," nudged Luigi, "you’re not even trying!"

"That’s easy for you to say!" complained Mario.  "You’re not doing anything except for spinning around your garden."

"Hey!" shouted Luigi, "I wake up at the crack of dawn every morning to water and sing to my garden.  All you do every day is come out here at noon and dump a pitcher of water into the middle of your garden!"

"That’s because gardens are stupid!" said Mario.

Peach came out into the yard with a big pitcher of lemonade.  "Guess what!"

"What?" asked Luigi.

"I made you boys some lemonade!"

"I can see that!" said Luigi, hiding a tone of sarcasm.

"Did you put plenty of sugar in it?" asked Mario.

"Yes," Peach rolled her eyes.

"Well then I can’t have any," said Luigi.  "I’m on a strict diet."

Peach poured Mario a glass of lemonade.  He liked it so much that he had her pour him another glass.  Then he drank both glasses of lemonade.

"I heard you two shouting back here," said Peach.  "What were you arguing about?"

"Mario’s upset because his garden won’t grow," commented Luigi.

"Oh," said Peach, "sorry, Mario."

"I give up," said Mario.  "I don’t want to grow any more gardens."

"Oh, nonsense!" said Peach.  "Come on, we just have to get you inspired."

"Yeah, but how can we inspire Mario?" asked Luigi.

"Well," thought Peach, "what if we went to see the Great Boggly Tree?  It’s supposed to be the biggest, oldest tree around.  I’m sure that the Boggly Tree would inspire Mario to grow something just as beautiful."

"Okay," said Mario, "let’s go.  Anything to get away from the garden."

Late that afternoon, they arrived at the entrance to the Boggly Woods.  "Boggly’s such a stupid name," said Peach.  "Why not call it Marvelous Woods or Sunshine Woods?  The word Boggly reminds me of a bog."

"That’s because it is a bog," said Luigi, stepping in some muck.  "There’s mud all over the ground."

"Oh, and I wore my high heels," moaned Peach.  "Oh well, there’s no turning back now!"

"I don’t see why not," said Mario.  "Let’s go.  This is boring.  Let’s go to the casino."

"No," said Peach, "we’re here to see the tree!"

"I can see it already!" said Mario, pointing above the other trees.  The Great Boggly Tree stuck out hundreds of feet taller than all the other trees.  It was impressive.

"Yeah, let’s go to the casino," said Luigi.  "This place is bumming me out."

"Nooooo!" said Peach.  "I came to see the tree and I’m not leaving until I do!  And you two can’t let me go alone--the world is far too dangerous for a princess to explore on her own!"

"Fiiine," groaned Mario.  The walk to the Great Tree wasn’t very long and they walked to the base of the tree without fatigue.

"Mamma-mia!" said Mario, "This tree is huge!"  The base of the tree was perhaps over fifty feet in diameter, and standing at the bottom of the tree, Mario couldn’t see the top of the tree, it was so tall.  "I want to climb to the top!"

"No, Mario," said Luigi.  "Too dangerous!"

"Can you guys help me?" asked a cute little foot-tall bug-like creature as it squirmed up to Mario and Luigi.  He had a ridiculous-looking bulb-like growth on the end of a spine sticking from his forehead.  Mario silently smirked to himself.  The bug continued, "I’m locked out of my house and the doorbell isn’t working.  Can you help me get in?"

"Certainly," replied Peach.  "We’ll all be glad to help.  Where’s your house?"

"Why, it’s the Great Tree, of course!  All of us live in it!"  Punio pointed at the tree.

Mario, Luigi, and Peach were surprised to notice a big front door at the base of the tree.  Mario tried tugging on it, but it wouldn’t budge.

"I know that my friends built a secret entrance into the tree, but I don’t know where it is."

"Screw that," said Peach, pulling a hairpin out of her hair and picking at the lock.  "I should be able to get through within a minute.  I’ve been locked up enough times to realize that I need to be able to get myself out of trouble.  Aha!" said Peach as the door clicked open.

The bug creature thanked Peach.  "My name is Punio.  I’m one of a big group of Punies who live in this tree...  Uh, while we’re at it, do you think you could help me with one other little problem?"

"What problem?" asked Luigi.

"Well, ya see," stammered Punio, "my people--the Punies--we're at war with the Jabbies over control of this tree."

"You’re at war?" asked Peach, "That’s awful!"

"What are Jabbies?" asked Luigi.

"Well," said Punio, "they're the most foul little winged bugs ever, and they're trying to take over our tree."

"Ah," said Luigi.

"Well," asked Punio, "could you help us defeat the Jabbies and regain control of this tree?"

Mario sighed.  "Whatever."

They entered the tree, and then walked into a room with hundreds of Punies like Punio.  The Puni Elder greeted them.  She was a mean old hag.  "I see you’ve brought friends here when instead you should be preparing to battle the Jabbies.  Those winged monsters are going to kill us all and it’ll be all your fault.  You’re the most irresponsible little brat I’ve ever seen."

"But Elder," said Punio, "these people are here to help us beat the Jabbies!  Look how tall they are!  We’re sure to win."

"Well, all right," said the Puni Elder.  "First, let’s get introductions out of the way."  She gestured toward Mario.

"I’m Mario," said Mario.  "And this is my brother Luigi and this is Princess Peach."

Peach giggled and brushed her hair with her hand.

"Nice to meet you all," said the Puni Elder.  "Now I’ll introduce you to each of the Punies.  This here is Punio--oh wait, you’ve already met him!  How silly of me!  Now, let’s see.  This here is Petuni.  Oh, wait, you’ve already met her too!"

"No we haven’t!" said Peach.

"Oh, you haven’t?  Well, Petuni is Punio’s younger sister.  She loves to play with dolls.  One time, she was skipping around in the forest and she tripped and fell and was embarrassed and she went hiding into the forest and we couldn’t find her for days!"  The Puni Elder paused to laugh to herself.  Luigi guessed to himself that it must be Puni culture to tell long, drawn-out stories about others while introducing them.  The Puni Elder continued, "And this here is Puneil--he’s Petuni’s half-cousin’s brother or something like that.  I've got quite a story about him..."

Several hours later, after introductions were done, the Puni Elder asked Mario, Luigi, and Peach if they were ready to help them prepare for battling the Jabbies.

"Yes, sure," said Luigi.

"Definitely," agreed Peach.

Peach and Luigi looked over to see Mario had fallen asleep during the introductions.  "I'm sure," said Peach, "that Mario would be happy to help."

"Okay, good," said the Puni Elder.

"Now, wait a second, though," said Peach.  "Why is it that you want to defeat the Jabbies?"

"Well," said the Puni Elder, "those good-for-nothing bug-brains just fly into our tree and start colonizing without even telling us!"

"So what?" asked Peach, recalling that that's how her ancestors claimed the Mushroom Kingdom.

"So what?!" shouted the Puni Elder, "SO WHAT???  So they've started depleting our water supply and our food supply and soon, they may try to take over even more of our tree!  We simply cannot have them around anymore."

"Have they done anything to hurt you?" asked Peach.  "Like actually attacking you?"

"No," said the Puni Elder.  "They don't even want to fight.  They don't even know we're at war with them."

Punio said, "That's what's gonna give us such a big advantage when the time comes to battle them."

"Have you even talked to them?" asked Luigi.

"But then," said Punio, "they would know we're mad at them!"

"Well maybe they ought to know!" said Peach sternly, "Maybe if they know you're unhappy, they'll leave!"

"So you're just going to go and start battling them?" confirmed Luigi.  "They won't even know why!"

"WHO CARES!" shouted the Puni Elder, awakening Mario from his sleep with a snort.

"So, will you help us?" asked Punio.

"Yes!" said Mario, drowsily.  "Anything to help."

"We need to come up with a plan," said Punio, later that day around the conference table.  "Does anyone have any ideas?"

"Let's blow up this miserable tree," muttered Peach.

"No," said Punio, "because we wish to remain in the tree."

"Perhaps," said Luigi, "we could sneak up behind them."

"No," said Punio, "because there is only one way into the Jabbies' lair.  They would know as soon as we entered."

"Well then," said Mario, "perhaps the only way to get them is to charge with your whole army at once."

"Yeah," said Luigi.  "That way, you'd completely outnumber them!"

"Are you sure you need to attack them?" asked Peach.  "What about negotiation?"

"Peach," said Mario, "if there's one thing I learned this morning, it's that talking it out is pointless.  When I was arguing with Luigi about gardening, our conversation went nowhere.  All I wanted to do was hit Luigi in the face with his watering can."

After a long night of preparing a battle strategy (all they had decided to do was charge at the Jabbies early in the morning and hope that the element of surprise would help them), Mario, Luigi, and Peach were treated to a room with three beds so they could spend the night.  As the Puni Elder had said, "We wouldn't dream of having you three travel alone through the forest this late at night."

"Nonsense," Mario had said.  "I'm super brave."

Regardless, Peach was not as eager to leave the tree and wander through the ink-black forest, so they were invited to spend the night.

Peach lay in bed, unable to sleep.  "Luigi," she asked quietly, making sure not to wake anyone, "are you awake?"  But Luigi's lack of a reply indicated to her that he was sound asleep.  "Mario, are you awake?"

"Yes," said Mario, "because my stomach is growling.  The Punies didn't give us any dinner.  I'm hungry!"

"Well," said Peach, "perhaps there's a kitchen somewhere in this tree."

"Do you think they have any potato chips?" asked Mario, hungrily.

"I'm sure they have something," said Peach as she slipped out of bed.  "Let's go see, Mario."

"Okay," said Mario.  He hopped out of bed.  Peach and Mario decided to leave Luigi sleeping and they left the room.

They crept through the halls and passages quietly to avoid waking any Punies.

"This must be the kitchen," said Mario as they entered a room that had a pantry and plenty of counter space.  He walked over to the pantry and opened it up.  "Ah, here's some potato chips!" he said as he pulled out a bag of Lay's potato chips.  He ate several handfuls of potato chips and Peach drank down a Diet Pepsi.

"Okay," she said after emptying the can, "are you ready to go now, Mario?"

"Mm-hmm," he said, sealing the bag up and returning it to the pantry.  "Let's go."

Peach and Mario left the kitchen and was returning to their room through the corridors when they bumped into a small, foot-tall bug-like animal with wings.

"It's a Jabbi!" said Mario.  He leaned towards Peach, and whispered into her ear, "Let's kill him now.  Punio would be so proud!"

"No!" said Peach.  She turned to the Jabbi, "You know, the Punies are pretty upset with all you Jabbies and they plan to battle you to take back their tree.  I just thought I should warn you and let you know why they're planning to attack tomorrow."

All the Jabbi did was make some gurgling noises.

"Jabbi?" asked Peach, "Can't you talk?"

But the Jabbi just stood there, gurgling.

"Oh well," said Peach, resuming her walk back to the bedroom, "I tried to warn you."

Mario followed after Peach back the the bedroom, where they both fell asleep.

After a short four-hour sleep, Mario, Luigi, and Peach awoke to the battle cries of the other Punies.

"We’re ready to fight!" cheered the Punies as they pulled Mario, Luigi, and Peach out of each of their beds and dragged them to where the Jabbies lived.

"Okay," said Punio, "we need you to bust through their door so we can get in and start attacking!"

"Attacking with what?" asked Peach.  "You aren’t holding any weapons!"

"We know what we’re doing," said Punio, confidently.

"Are you sure you need to fight?" said Peach.  "The Jabbies don't even know that what they're doing is wrong!"

"We know," repeated Punio, "what we're doing.  You two," he motioned at Mario and Luigi, "would you be so kind as to break down their door?"

"Nuh-uh," said Mario.  "Not until you try to talk to the Jabbies first."

"There's no point in that," said the Puni Elder.  "We must attack them before they have a chance to prepare an army."

"Well, we're not opening this door!" said Luigi, defiant.

"NOW!" snarled the Puni Elder, startling Luigi and causing him to jump backwards through the door.

As the door swung open, all the Punies ran in.

As Mario, Luigi, and Peach walked through the doorway, they stopped in their tracks, shocked to see what was happening.

The Punies, with their razor-sharp fangs, were biting deep into the bodies of the Jabbies.  The Jabbies were using their beak-like protrusions to bore holes through the Punies’ bodies.  Blood was pouring from every little creature all over the floor.  Many Jabbi wings and Puni spines were severed and scattered all over the ground.  It was common to see a Puni completely biting into a Jabbi, who in turn was stabbing another Puni to death.  Into the corners of the room, the still-surviving Punies and Jabbies were piling the dying remains of their fallen partners.

"Enough of this," said Peach, obviously disgusted.  "Hey, Punio!" she shouted across the room, "We’re gonna take off now!  Thanks for the hospitality, but please, don’t ever ask us to help you out again, okay!  You guys are horrible, barbaric monsters, and we certainly hope to never hear from you again!  All right, then, bye!"

The trio calmly left the big tree.  "Well," said Luigi, clearly trying to come up with something to say to lighten the mood, "Peach, do you think Mario has been inspired enough to work on his garden now?"