"Luigi!" shouted Mario, "get over here and help me!"

"No," said Luigi, "I'm not going to waste my weekend sorting your socks."

"Please, Brother, I need your help!"

"Mario," said Luigi, annoyed, "I have told you many times not to buy so many socks.  Look," he said, picking up a handful of socks, "you never wear these socks--the ones with the toes..."

"Well," replied Mario, "you never know when you'll want to wear this kind of sock."

"I think we need to have a garage sale," said Luigi.

"I'm not selling my socks!" said Mario, and grabbed the socks out of Luigi's hands.

The phone began ringing.   Mario dropped his socks, ran over to the phone, and picked it up.  "Mario here."

"Mario!" said Peach cheerily, "Hi!"

"Hi Peach!" said Mario.  "What is it?"

"I got three tickets to the Glitz Pit!"

"Oooooooooh," said Mario, "I've never been there.  What's the Glitz Pit?"

"I don't have time to explain right now," said Peach, "but hurry, get Luigi and meet me at the Mushroom Kingdom Airport!"

"When should we meet you there?" asked Mario.

"Right now!" said Peach, enthusiastically.  "You have to hurry, Mario! Get Luigi, come on! I'm already here! Come on!"

"Okeydokey," said Mario.

There was a lot of traffic on the Mushroom Bridge, so it took Mario and Luigi much longer to get to the airport than they had planned.

"We're here!" Mario hollered happily to Peach as he and Luigi met her out by the airplanes.  It was a nice day.  The sun was shining down strongly.

"Oh, I can't wait to see the fights at the Glitz Pit!" said Peach.  "They're supposed to be very exciting!"  She glanced down at her watch.  "Mamma-mia! Look at the time! It's almost 11:30! We're going to miss the flight!"

"Oh no!" cried Luigi.

Peach looked around.  "Oh, look! There's our blimp!" She pointed across the airport to the blimp with the giant Cheep Cheep-shaped balloon on top.  "Let's go!"

The three ran over to the blimp, handed over their tickets, and entered the blimp.  The seats inside looked cushy, and they all sat down.

Peach pulled out her flyer for the Glitz Pit.  "Intense battles held in the glamorous Glitz Pit, held miles high on the floating city Glitzville! Affordable hotel accommodations, and free balloons!"

Luigi smiled at the thought of free balloons as the blimp lifted into the air.

"So it's like boxing matches?" asked Mario.

"Yeah, kinda.  Oooh, listen! World-famous Rawk Hawk has brutally defeated all competitors," Peach continued aloud.  "Oh, guess what!"

"What?" asked Mario and Luigi.

"The Rawk has fought for over fifteen years, undefeated!" Peach turned around the flyer to show a picture of Rawk Hawk to Mario and Luigi.

"Whoa, look at the size of those muscles!" blurted Mario.

Luigi smiled over at Mario.  "I bet you couldn't last five seconds in the ring with Rawk Hawk!"

Mario was offended.  "Yes I could.  I could last double that!"

"Oh," Peach turned to Mario, "that would be so cool if you fought Rawk Hawk!"

Mario bit his lip.  He was immediately regretting what he had just said.  "I dunno...  It sounds scary.  Nobody's lost to him in fifteen years!"

"And he fights daily!" Peach read off of the flyer.

"That's more than five thousand victories!" Luigi counted on his fingers.

"Yeah," said Peach, "but according to the flyer, he often fights several times a day."

"Oh," said Luigi, "so that means he could have won well over ten or fifteen thousand matches...without losing any!"

"Oh, Mario!" giggled Peach, "You could be the first to beat Rawk Hawk!"

Mario stared at the picture of the yellow bird on the flyer.  "Oh, I dunno..."

Suddenly, they all felt the blimp touch down.

"Oh, we must be here!" said Luigi, happily.  He smiled to Mario.  Mario smiled back nervously.

They all stepped out of the blimp.  The sun shined brightly overhead.  Glitzville floated high above the clouds, so the weather was always good.  A large propeller under the floating city held it up.  The fact that Glitzville floated was not much more than an expensive gimmick.  The blimp was in the small plaza in the middle of the floating isle.  The Glitz Pit arena was by far the largest building in Glitzville, and with its flashing lights and colorful banners, it truly was a sight.  To the right was a small restaurant and a small hotel--they would be staying in the hotel overnight, and would leave again at noon the next day.  To the left was a souvenir shop and a hot dog vendor.  Other than a few plants and a telephone booth, there really wasn't anything else.

"Ooooh, free balloons!" Luigi ran over to the cheerful woman handing out free balloons.

Peach and Mario still stood right outside of the blimp.

"Wow," said Peach, this place is marvelously colorful!  She and Mario looked around.  Huge posters of Rawk Hawk were plastered all over.  Mario suddenly got butterflies in his stomach.  He still wasn't sure that he wanted to battle Rawk Hawk.

Luigi returned with a handful of colorful balloons.  "The balloon lady said we can sign Mario up inside the Glitz Pit."

"Splendid!" said Peach.  "Let's go!"  She grabbed Mario's wrist, and pulled him along.  When they reached the entrance to the Glitz Pit, the glass doors automatically slid open for them.  "Wow!  What interesting doors!"

They had difficulty walking though the fancy lobby because there was a huge crowd in the way.

"I wonder what this crowd is here for," wondered Luigi.

"I don't know," said Peach.  "I can't see."

"Mario," said Luigi, "let me climb up on your shoulders and see what everybody's looking at."

"Okay," said Mario.

Luigi climbed up onto Mario's shoulders.  "Oh, it's Rawk Hawk!  He's signing autographs!"

"Nobody ever asks me for an autograph..." moaned Mario.

"Well, that's because you haven't beaten up thousands of people," reassured Peach.

Rawk Hawk broke through the crowd and came face-to-face with Mario.

"Do you want my autograph too, little mustache man?"

"I hate you!" shouted Mario.

"Oh?  You hate me?  Do you want to take this outside?" Rawk Hawk suddenly seemed very big to Mario.  Especially the humongous muscles.  And the pointy beak!

"No," said Mario weakly, backing up.

Rawk Hawk nodded.  "I see."  He walked out of the interesting automatic doors, and the crowd of fans followed him.

"Come on, Mario, let's go sign you up!" Peach began running to the door in the back of the lobby with a sign above it labeled "Registration".

"Mario," said Luigi, "come on!  Let's follow Peach!"

Mario groaned as Luigi pulled him, following Peach.

Grubba was a money-grubbing blue thing and Jolene was his super-efficient assistant.

Grubba asked Mario, "Why do you want to be a fighter?"

"I don't want t--" started Mario, but he stopped when Luigi stomped on his foot.

"He wants to fry the competition in his dust," Luigi finished for him.

"He wants to whip the competition into a creamy, frothy substance," said Peach.

Mario whispered into Peach's ear, "I'm not having fun anymore.  Let's go home."

"What did he say?" asked Grubba.

"Oh, um..." stammered Peach, "he said, 'I'm a champion fighter!' "

"No I didn't!" shouted Mario.

"Yes you did!" said Peach, stomping on Mario's foot (with her high heel--that really hurts).

Grubba couldn't see all the foot-stomping.  "Oh, you're a champion fighter?  So, what's your name, scout?"

"His name's Mario!" said Luigi.

"Mario?" thought Grubba.  "I don't know..."

"Our research shows that the fans like cool, catchy names," agreed Jolene.

"Instead of Mario," said Grubba, "we'll call you the Great Gonzales, and we'll move you right into one of tomorrow's matches!  Jolene?"

Jolene picked up her clipboard.  "You'll be competing with Rawk Hawk tomorrow morning at 9 AM."

"There'll be thousands of spectators!" exclaimed Grubba.  "Good luck.  See you tomorrow, Great Gonzales!"  He and Jolene smiled to him as they waved him goodbye.

Mario sighed.

After the meeting with Grubba, the three stood in line at the hot dog stand.  Peach came up with an idea.  “Hey, Mario,” she said, “Wouldn’t it be a good idea if you watched a few battles so that you would know what you were going to be going up against?”

Mario shrugged.

“Oh yes,” said Luigi, “we should let Mario watch how Rawk Hawk beat his competitors.  He’ll get learning experience.”

Mario turned toward Peach, and whispered into her ear, “I don’t want to.”

“Oh, come on, silly,” Peach reassured him.  "If you pay attention, maybe you can come up with a strategy."  It was their turn to buy a hot dog.  Peach paid for three hot dogs, and handed one to Mario and one to Luigi.  “It won’t be hard, I guess.”

Then they entered the Glitz Pit and took their seats in the fifth row.  They were pretty neat seats.  The air was filled with excitement.  After a short wait, Grubba walked onto the stage and stepped into the center platform.  "Ladies and germs, welcome to the GLITZ PIT!"

The crowd went wild.  Peach screamed happily, and Luigi jumped up and down.  His colorful bunch of balloons bobbed up and down above him with the tugging of the strings.

"In today's exciting match, we have our challenger, the Golden Goomba," a shiny Goomba walked hesitantly onto the stage, gazing up at the spectators, "versus the RAWK... HAWK!" The crowd went ballistic.  They screamed, they hollered.  Rawk Hawk entered, shouting back enthusiastically to the audience.  They shouted back.  Soon, everyone was shouting "Rawk Hawk! Rawk Hawk!" Everyone but Mario.

"Are our combatants ready?" asked Grubba.  They both nodded.  "Okay, let's BRAAAAAAAAAAAWL!" The crowd was wild.

Rawk Hawk started by picking up the Golden Goomba before he had a chance to move.  He squirmed frantically in his hands.  Rawk Hawk threw him high into the air, then flew up into the air right above him, and dove straight down, smashing the Golden Goomba into the platform below.  The Goomba did not move.

Somewhere in the middle of all this, Mario dropped his hot dog.

"That's the match!" Grubba yelled into his microphone.  "And a rather quick one, too!" Grubba walked over to Rawk Hawk.  "That was fast.  Did you have a strategy going into this one?"

"A fighter like me doesn't need a strategy," he replied.

Mario found that he was biting his fingernails.

Later that day, when the day's scheduled matches were over, Mario, Luigi, and Peach exited the Glitz Pit.  It was nighttime.  "Wow," said Peach, "weren't those matches exciting?"

Luigi seemed disappointed.  "Nobody's bones got crushed.  Mario, do you think your bones will be crushed?"

Mario didn't say anything.

"Whatever," said Luigi.  They walked over to the hotel, checked in, and each went to their own rooms.

As Mario entered his room, he noticed a note on his pillow.  He walked over to it and picked it up.  The handwriting was very messy, and the paper was slightly crumpled.

GrEaT gOnZaLeZ,
YoUr GoNnA dIe In ToMoRoWs mAtCh AgAiNsT RaWk HaWk.
               FrOm X

Mario couldn't help but cringe at the horrible grammar.  Another thing he didn't like was the threat the letter contained.  "I don't want to fight!" he shouted to himself.

He sat on his bed for quite a while, pondering what to do.  He exited the hotel, and walked across the plaza.  "I want to go home," he muttered to himself.  The blimp wasn't there now.  He wouldn't be able to leave until the blimp returned again at noon.  He looked down at his watch.  Nope... another ten hours until noon.  He knew, however, that his match was at 9 AM, three whole hours before the blimp would arrive.

He thought about jumping from Glitzville, but he was certain he would die doing that, too.  He looked down over the edge of Glitzville.  He couldn't see through the clouds below, it was that high up.  A fall from that height would definitely kill him, but only if he managed to avoid the propeller.  The giant propeller under the floating city would chop him up into bite-size pieces, and that would likely be just as painful as being beaten up by Rawk Hawk.

Suddenly, Mario heard a ringing from the phone booth nearby.  He was the only one there, so hesitantly, he walked to the ringing phone.  However, by the time he got there, the phone had stopped ringing.  He noticed a note attached to the phone.  He picked it up.  It was addressed to Mario!

GrEaT gOnZaLeZ,
If YoU fIgHt ThEn YoUr DeAd MeAt StUpId!!!!!
               FrOm X

Where the heck were these notes coming from?  And who the heck was X?

Mario felt a hand on his shoulder.  He screamed and turned around, cowering.

"Calm down!"  It was just Peach.

"PEACH!" shouted Mario.

"Quiet!" she whispered.  Mario looked up at the hotel.  Several people had turned their lights on and were looking out the window to see the source of the shouting.  "Mario," Peach whispered, "What are you doing out here?"

"I don't want to fight."

"Oh, come on.  It won't be hard."

"I don't want to!"

"Do it for me."

Mario looked deep into Peach's eyes.  "I LOVE YOU!"

"Oh, thank you," said Peach, blushingly.

"Okay, I'll fight.  I'LL FIGHT!"

"Mario, shut up!" said Peach.  "You'll wake up everybody!"

The next morning, Peach knocked on Mario's hotel room door.  After a minute, Mario opened the door.  "Oh, hello, Princess."

"Hi, Mario," said Peach.  "How are you?"

"I'm sleepy.  I hardly got any sleep overnight."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.  Honestly, I didn't either.  I'm just so excited for your match!  There isn't too much time before it!  I think we should get some breakfast into you."

Mario then realized that he was very hungry.  Over the last 24 hours, he had eaten nothing but a hot dog.  "I'm a-starving!"

"Okay, good," said Peach, "Luigi's already heading down to the restaurant next door.  Get your clothes on and meet us down there."

"Um, Princess," Mario stopped her from turning around, "I changed my mind about the fight.  I had a nightmare."

"Oh?" said Peach.  "What was the nightmare about?"

Mario looked down at his feet.  "I dreamed that Rawk Hawk killed me and then he got crazy and kicked you and used Luigi as a toothpick and went and swung Yoshi around by his tongue and used him like a wrecking ball to knock down your castle and all of the other buildings in the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Oh, Mario, that's awful.  I don't blame you for not wanting to fight Rawk Hawk.  But come on, buck up!  It's time for breakfast, then we're going to your big match." Peach kissed Mario right on the nose, then walked down the hallway out of Mario's sight.

Mario sighed.  He walked over to his suitcase, and put on his gloves, shirt, overalls, hat, and boots.  Then he went into the room's bathroom, fixed up his 'stache, then left the hotel and went directly to the restaurant.  He went in and saw Peach and Luigi sitting together at a small table.  Luigi waved him over to their table, and Peach smiled.

Mario pulled out the chair and sat down.

"We've been waiting for you," said Luigi, "It's a buffet, Mario.  Let's go over and get some breakfast."

They got up, and walked over to the buffet table.  While Peach and Luigi looked happy, Mario sulked to the table.  Mario thought the bacon smelled really good, so he filled his plate with bacon, and topped them with some mushroom purée.  After getting their food, they returned to the table.

"So," said Luigi to Mario, "are you looking forward to the battle?"

"Um..." said Mario, at a loss of words.

"Peach told me last night you were going to fight.  So, how about it? Are you going to try to not lose?"

"Mmmm..." said Peach, licking her fingers.  "These cinnamon rolls are to die for!"

Mario whimpered.

"Hmmm?" said Peach.  "Oh...  right."  She had accidentally said "die" and Mario was whimpering with his head in his hands.

"Hmmm..." said Luigi, pushing some food around on his plate, "These eggs are really really yellow.   I wonder if there is dye in them."

Mario yelped out loud and covered his face with his cap.

"Luigi!" Peach shouted.   "That was mean!"  She slapped Luigi elegantly.

"I'M GONNA DIE!" Mario shouted through his cap, his head still down on the table.   The other restaurant-goers glanced over at Mario.

"Sir," said the waitress to Mario, waiting for him to lift his head up to look at her.  He didn't, so she continued.  "This note came for you."  She set the letter on the table.

Mario looked up and read the letter.

GrEaT gOnZaLeZ,
If YoUr GoNnA fIgHt, HeReS sOmE aDvIcE:
tUg RaWk HaWkS tAiL fEaThErS.
               FrOm X

Peach looked puzzled.  "That's some pretty weird advice.  Who's X?"

Luigi read the letter.  "Hmmm... I know it's not me."

Mario anxiously looked at his watch.  He groaned loudly.

"What time is it?" asked Peach.  She looked across the table at Mario's watch.  "Oh my!  Mario!  It's almost nine!  You're going to miss your match!"

"Come on, Great Gonzales!" said Luigi, hopping up from his seat and pulling Mario out of his by his wrist, "It's time to fight!"

Mario dragged his feet behind Peach and Luigi to the Glitz Pit.

Since they were late, Mario had absolutely no time to prepare in the locker rooms.  Mario had to go right up on stage right away and Peach and Luigi took seats behind him with the rest of the audience.  Peach chanted and cheered for Mario.

"WELL," Grubba yelled into the mike, "It looks like our competetor, the Great Gonzales, has finally arrived!!!"

Mario looked across the ring at Rawk Hawk.  Mario looked into his eyes.  His eyes said, "You're going to die, mustache man."  Then, Mario looked into Rawk Hawk's muscles.  They said, "We're gonna crush you."  Mario swallowed his fear.  Then it tried to come up again, but Mario swallowed it again.  It left an awful taste in his mouth.  Mario looked back at Peach and Luigi.  He mouthed the words, "I don't want to fight," but Peach and Luigi didn't notice.

"Let's BRAAAAAAAAAAAAWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" yelled Grubba into the microphone.

Rawk Hawk flew up into the air.

"Don't dive!" yelped Mario.

Rawk Hawk looked puzzled.  After a moment's hesitation, he dove right through the air toward Mario.  Mario managed to jump right out of the way.

"You hate me?" shouted Rawk Hawk, considering what Mario had shouted to him yesterday.  "Well I hate you!"

Mario gasped.  Nobody, except for Bowser of course, had ever said he hated Mario.  Mario's heart collapsed.  Then it grew fiery and Mario could feel in his mustache that he certainly was angry.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Mario ran shouting at Rawk Hawk.

"What, suddenly you think you're going to win?" Rawk Hawk shouted back.  He flapped his wings and hovered several feet up in the air.

"Yes!" shouted Mario.  He jumped up high and grabbed one of Rawk Hawk's tail feathers, and gave a nice, hard tug.

"YEEEEEEEEOWCH!" Rawk Hawk shouted, landing immediately.  While Rawk Hawk twisted around to rub his sore rear end, Mario jumped and kicked Rawk Hawk right in the chest.  Rawk Hawk fell over onto his back, shouting.  Mario could hear that the crowd was quietly gasping.  Mario jumped up over Rawk Hawk, and hip-dropped right on top.  Mario got up and everyone watched Rawk Hawk.

Rawk Hawk didn't get up.  He lay on the floor, his eyes clenched tight.  "I lose."

Mario was about to kick Rawk Hawk in the face, but was interrupted by Grubba shouting excitedly into the microphone.  "We have a new winner!  The GREAT GONZALES is our new champion!!!"

"Yippee!" said Mario.

"Here," said Rawk Hawk, struggling to take off his champion's belt.  "Take this.  You've earned it, man."

Mario took the champion's belt and held it high above his head.  Luigi and Peach ran down into the arena.  Luigi gave Mario a big hug, and Peach gave him a big kiss.  Mario loved the kiss.  In his mind, it was the highlight of the trip.

Mario, accompanied by Peach and Luigi, stood in Grubba's office with Jolene and Rawk Hawk.  "Well, you're the new champion, Mario," said Jolene.

Rawk Hawk shook Mario's hand.  Mario shrugged.  "I'm surprised!"

"Honestly, we didn't think you were going to win," said Luigi.

"Well, I was hoping you'd win!" said Peach.  "And it's a nice thing that you did!"

Grubba began to get to business.  "You're the new champion, Great Gonzales.  You've got to stay here, and defend your title!"

"Wait," said Peach, "Mario has to stay here?"

"Well, no," said Grubba, "he doesn't have to defend his title..."

Jolene handed Mario her clipboard.  "Sign your name here on this dotted line."

Mario stared hard at the dotted line.  He didn't want to leave his friends back home.  On the dotted line, Mario wrote "No", and handed the clipboard back to Jolene.

"Thanks," she said.  Then she looked down at the form and frowned.  "This is not an acceptable signature."

"Well," said Mario, "this is not an acceptable life for me."

"Oh, Mario!" Peach hugged Mario.

"So that means that Rawk Hawk retains his previous title of Champion," Jolene said.  Rawk Hawk smiled.

"I have a question," Luigi asked.  "Who did all those letters come from?"

"You mean whom," Mario corrected him.

Luigi sighed.  "Whom did all those letters come from?"

Grubba smiled.  "Well, I sent a letter to your hotel room yesterday.  It's a fun teaser... I send one like it to all of our new combatants.  I don't know anything about other letters, though."

Rawk Hawk laughed.  "I attached that letter to the phone booth yesterday when I saw you worrying like a baby outside last night.  Then I called the pay phone so you would run and see it."

Peach stomped her foot.  "You poor sports should be ashamed of yourselves!"

"But what about the other letter, the one telling me how to beat Rawk Hawk?" Mario asked.

"What letter?!" asked Rawk Hawk, startled.

Jolene started backing out of the office.

"Jolene," Rawk Hawk shouted, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Out for...a breath of fresh air."

"Get back here!" shouted Rawk Hawk.  "The tail feather thing was a secret!  Why would you use that against me?"

"I thought we could use better ratings," explained Jolene.  I thought we were due for a new champion so we could get a new fan base."

"What?" asked Grubba.  "We don't need new fans.  This stadium is packed full every day!  We don't have room for new fans!"

"Oh," said Jolene.  "An honest mistake."

"Well, congrats anyway, Mario," Grubba said.  "Your blimp should be arriving soon.  You don't want to miss it, do you?"

"No," said Peach, "We should probably be heading back.  I have a kingdom to run!"

"Oh, yes," said Mario.  "I had a nice time--well, actually, the entire experience was horrifying, but I guess I learned a valuable lesson from it."

"Well, thanks for coming," said Grubba.  "Y'all come back here some time soon!"

"Okeydokey!" said Mario, smiling.  But he never ever wanted to come back again.