You know those Sweethearts candies? They're those chalky candies with the little messages on them. Surely you're received one as a Valentine's Day gift or something. Well, if there's one mystery in the Universe, it's what messages those little NECCO Sweethearts candies contain. Well, I decided to buy six 20-oz. bags of Sweethearts Tiny Conversation Hearts. With the help of one of my cousins and a few of my friends, I was able to see how many times each message appeared. Altogether, we counted almost 1,400 hearts. MESSAGES | Message |  |  |  |  |  |  | Sum | % | | #1 FAN | 4 | 4 | 8 | 6 | 4 | 6 | 32 | 2.3 | | ♥ OF GOLD | 4 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 1 | 27 | 1.9 | | ☺ (smiley face) | 1 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 6 | 14 | 1.0 | | ALL MINE | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 0.3 | | ALL STAR | 7 | 8 | 8 | 3 | 3 | 8 | 37 | 2.7 | | AMORE | 2 | 3 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 13 | 0.9 | | ANGEL | 1 | 4 | 2 | 8 | 5 | 2 | 22 | 1.6 | | ASK ME | 3 | 0 | 4 | 5 | 1 | 6 | 19 | 1.4 | | BE GOOD | 3 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 10 | 0.7 | | BE MINE | 5 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 6 | 6 | 29 | 2.1 | | BE MY HERO | 5 | 8 | 9 | 6 | 2 | 9 | 39 | 2.8 | | BE TRUE | 3 | 3 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 6 | 15 | 1.1 | | CALL ME | 0 | 1 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 15 | 1.1 | | COOL | 2 | 2 | 5 | 7 | 4 | 4 | 24 | 1.7 | | CUTIE PIE | 4 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 4 | 1 | 17 | 1.2 | | DEAR ONE | 6 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 21 | 1.5 | | DREAM | 3 | 5 | 5 | 5 | 4 | 5 | 27 | 1.9 | | DREAM TEAM | 7 | 6 | 11 | 9 | 3 | 5 | 41 | 2.9 | | E MAIL | 4 | 8 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 25 | 1.8 | | FAX ME | 6 | 6 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 22 | 1.6 | | FIRST KISS | 6 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 5 | 1 | 18 | 1.3 | | FOR YOU | 3 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 19 | 1.4 | | GET REAL | 4 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 13 | 0.9 | | GO GIRL | 3 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 6 | 23 | 1.7 | | GOT LOVE | 2 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 4 | 12 | 0.9 | | HOW NICE | 5 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 6 | 0 | 22 | 1.6 | | HUG ME | 1 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 14 | 1.0 | | I DO | 3 | 2 | 6 | 7 | 2 | 2 | 22 | 1.6 | | I ♥ U | 5 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 13 | 0.9 | | I HOPE | 5 | 6 | 3 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 24 | 1.7 | | IM ME | 3 | 6 | 4 | 3 | 1 | 4 | 21 | 1.5 | | I'M SURE | 3 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 1 | 3 | 16 | 1.1 | | IT'S LOVE | 0 | 4 | 4 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 14 | 1.0 | | KISS ME | 8 | 7 | 12 | 12 | 8 | 9 | 56 | 4.0 | | LET'S KISS | 3 | 5 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 1 | 16 | 1.1 | | LOVE | 2 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 0.4 | | LOVE HER | 4 | 3 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 15 | 1.1 | | LOVE HIM | 2 | 4 | 5 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 16 | 1.1 | | LOVE LIFE | 11 | 9 | 12 | 9 | 5 | 8 | 54 | 3.9 | | LOVE ME | 6 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 18 | 1.3 | | LOVE YOU | 3 | 3 | 5 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 22 | 1.6 | | LOVER BOY | 3 | 4 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 21 | 1.5 | | MAGIC | 4 | 3 | 1 | 4 | 7 | 3 | 22 | 1.6 | | MARRY ME | 7 | 5 | 8 | 5 | 5 | 8 | 38 | 2.7 | | MISS YOU | 3 | 4 | 3 | 1 | 3 | 3 | 17 | 1.2 | | MY BABY | 7 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 19 | 1.4 | | MY GIRL | 1 | 6 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 4 | 15 | 1.1 | | MY LOVE | 2 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 1 | 12 | 0.9 | | MY MAN | 3 | 1 | 4 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 18 | 1.3 | | MY WAY | 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 9 | 0.6 | | NEW LOVE | 2 | 5 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 20 | 1.4 | | NICE GIRL | 1 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 11 | 0.8 | | ONE I LOVE | 6 | 3 | 2 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 23 | 1.7 | | ONE KISS | 3 | 4 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 5 | 19 | 1.4 | | ONLY YOU | 4 | 1 | 6 | 0 | 3 | 8 | 22 | 1.6 | | PAGE ME | 3 | 4 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 19 | 1.4 | | REAL LOVE | 4 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 14 | 1.0 | | SMILE | 5 | 5 | 3 | 7 | 2 | 3 | 25 | 1.8 | | SO FINE | 5 | 6 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 17 | 1.2 | | SURE LOVE | 3 | 3 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 17 | 1.2 | | SWEET TALK | 2 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 0.5 | | TRUE LOVE | 2 | 1 | 6 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 20 | 1.4 | | U & ME | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 0.2 | | UR KIND | 6 | 6 | 1 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 23 | 1.7 | | URA 10 | 7 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 20 | 1.4 | | URA STAR | 4 | 3 | 5 | 2 | 5 | 2 | 21 | 1.5 | | WHIZ KID | 3 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 13 | 0.9 | | WISE UP | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0.1 | | YES DEAR | 2 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 1 | 14 | 1.0 | | YOU & ME | 3 | 7 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 24 | 1.7 | | Totals | 252 | 241 | 241 | 221 | 204 | 233 | 1392 | 100.0 |
As you can see from the Chart below, the most commonly-occurring message is KISS ME, followed closely by LOVE LIFE. The message with the fewest occurrences is WISE UP, which is also one of the most impolite messages to give to somebody. Unless you mean for someone to wise up and realize that you love them or something. Of all of the hearts, the rudest saying is obviously GET REAL. For the longest time, I thought that IM ME was really "I'M ME" (i.e., "I am me") until I realized that it really means "instant message me." 
One of the difficulties we had to overcome in counting the Sweethearts is the occasional "misprint" where part or all of the message is not perfectly printed onto the heart. Here are a few examples of hearts where NECCO missed:  | It's IM ME without the ME! In cases like these, we were still able to record the message in our lists because we could determine what the message should have been. |  | It's I ♥ U without the I. I suppose you could still give this heart to someone. "Love you!" you could say as you handed it to someone. |  | This one's a total disaster. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? It's totally ruined! Now I'm sad. NECCO has ruined Valentine's Day! |
COLORS Along with counting the messages in each bag, we also counted the occurrence of each color in the bags. | Color (flavor) | | | | | | | Sum | % | | Pink (cherry) | 14 | 28 | 14 | 30 | 38 | 20 | 144 | 10.3 | | Orange (orange) | 29 | 36 | 30 | 27 | 39 | 36 | 197 | 14.1 | | Yellow (banana) | 5 | 23 | 20 | 16 | 24 | 20 | 108 | 7.7 | | Green (lemon) | 81 | 37 | 37 | 33 | 29 | 36 | 253 | 18.1 | | Purple (grape) | 36 | 38 | 41 | 37 | 37 | 41 | 230 | 16.5 | | White (wintergreen) | 87 | 79 | 99 | 79 | 39 | 83 | 466 | 33.3 |
I found it absolutely fascinating that the bag I counted only contained 5 yellow hearts. Like, what the hey, you know? If your favorite color was yellow and you got the bag with only five yellows, I bet you'd be pretty upset, wouldn't you? That bag also contained a disproportionately high number of green hearts. 
EXPERIMENTATION Everyone knows what happens when you microwave a Peep, but what happens when you microwave a Sweetheart? Well, I set to find out. | The first step was to place the Sweetheart onto a microwavable plate. "I HOPE" this experiment turns out all right! |  | | After four minutes of microwavation, the heart was nothing but a bumbling, bubbling mess of icky. You can't tell from the picture, but something interesting was that you could still read the word "hope" on the heart. Perhaps this is some sort of a message to us all. |  | | After rinsing the sizzling, sugary goo off of the plate, I was astounded to see a heart remaining on it! I love you too, Sweethearts! |  |
COMPLAINING It was the idea of Mr. Worster, my calculus teacher, to contact NECCO and discover just what the heck was going on here, so I went to the school library and sent a complaint via NECCO's website: Last week, with the help of a few of my friends, I counted and tallied the messages on your Sweethearts Tiny Conversation Hearts. I was surprised to discover that some messages occurred more often than others! For instance, in our count, "kiss me" occurred 56 times in 6 bags, but "love" only showed up 6 times! That's an average of one "love" per bag!! I'm surprised that that message doesn't occur as often as it should. And there were only two "wise up"s in those six bags, which means that several of them didn't have the message at all! We even counted colors, and I was absolutely shocked to discover that only 8% of the candy hearts were yellow; an astonishing 34% were white. Could you let me know if some messages (and colors) are more plentiful in certain regions, or are these bags just flukes? |
It was just a little more than a day when I received a reply: Thank you for contacting New England Confectionery Company regarding your experience with our Conversation Hearts. The plates used for cutting and printing the sayings have 80 different sayings on them larger hearts have 6 sayings on each plate, and we have approximately 16-20 plates that are used during the year. We have 3 plants that make the Sweethearts and the only time the plates are changed is when we take sayings off and add new ones, and/or when a plate gets worn out. There is a rotation that takes place and all the sayings may not be on all the plates. And then the mixing process takes place after the hearts are cut, printed and dryed [sic]. In the course of a day making Conversation Hearts, we make equal amounts of the six flavors / colors that comprise the assortment. As this product is relatively fragile, we use a passive mixing process where the candy is emptied in layers onto a moving-bed mixing table. Using this process helps keeps breakage and abrasion damage to the candy to a minimum. Unfortunately, the mixing process does not yield a consistently equal mix of all colors and there can be a fluctuation in the color distribution through the course of the day. In of itself, we try our best to mix the candy as thoroughly as possible so that there is an even distribution of the pieces in the finished container. It is even more difficult to do so with the smaller containers due to the small amount of candy in them. Your comments have been forwarded to the department supervisors for their review. Thank you again for bringing this to our attention. Sincerely, Customer Service NECCO |
Oh, so that explains it. At least they're trying! While researching the matter, I noticed that the NECCO website is boasting about its ten new messages having to do with home. However, I was angered to notice that none of the hearts in our bags had those messages. Apparently, even though I bought the bags in January 2006, we were stuck with bags left over from 2005. Ewww, year-old candy! Gross! No wonder they taste so stale! I've tried searching for 20-oz. bags of Sweethearts that contain these new messages, but have failed so far. All I've been able to find is one of those tiny 1-oz. boxes.
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